In an astonishing display of entitlement and irony, a group of progressive activists has launched a campaign demanding the government provide free deportation flights not for undocumented immigrants, but for themselves. Yes, the same activists who regularly protest immigration enforcement are now insisting they deserve government-funded escapes from the very country they claim to love, with the added bonus of choosing their own safe spaces anywhere on the globe.
The activists argue that since the government recently offered free flights to deport illegal immigrants, it only makes sense that these emotionally taxed citizens be granted the same courtesy. Naturally, they want to pick their destinations carefully, favoring places with progressive politics, no guns, abundant vegan food, and guaranteed trigger warnings.
One organizer explained, “We are overwhelmed by the constant microaggressions, climate anxiety, and political toxicity here. If the government can spend millions flying people out, why can’t it send us to a healing sanctuary where we won’t have to face the nightmare of differing opinions?”
Ironically, the activists ignore that as citizens, they already enjoy protections and privileges denied to those they claim to champion. Instead, they demand special treatment funded by taxpayers, many of whom disagree with their worldview and do not want to bankroll their emotional vacations.
Critics point out that before granting free flights to those who refuse to engage with reality, the government should focus on real needs: housing, healthcare, and infrastructure for all citizens. But logic and self-awareness are not in vogue among this crowd, who seem to believe emotional discomfort equals grounds for taxpayer-subsidized exile.
Predictably, the activists propose funding this extravagance through new taxes on hate speech, cultural appropriation, and anything that might hurt their fragile sensibilities. Unsurprisingly, these plans are met with eye rolls from fiscal conservatives and moderates.
While officials remain silent, sources say government staffers are quietly amused, watching this spectacle unfold from their desks. One insider joked, “We’re just waiting for them to pick a date and location so we can see if they actually follow through.”
Social media response is a mix of mockery and disbelief, with some users suggesting destinations like Safe Space Island or Cancel Culture Cove as perfect spots for these self-deporting progressives.
This latest stunt highlights the widening gap between progressive demands and practical governance. The irony of rejecting immigration laws while demanding special deportation privileges is lost on none but the activists themselves.
For now, the government keeps its focus on actual border issues, while these activists lobby for free one-way tickets to their ideal echo chambers paid for by everyone else.
